The biggest adventure you can take is to

live the life of your dreams. -Oprah

There are moments!

Kicking off the love week with THE BESTAEST special kind of love. FRIENDSHIP!!!


There are those moment in Life
When desert storms rage
When hell’s frosty winds blow
And when we’re left out in the cold

There are those moments in life
When life’s hale storms beat us down
When waves crush our spirits
And when tides sweep us away

There are those moments in life
When thorns pave our pathways
When mountains are Everests
And when tears stain our pillows

There are those moments in life
When pits are home
When our hearts howl in pain
And when they form nightly lullabies

There are those moments in life
When loneliness steps in when love walked out
When strife holds the hand
And happiness lets go

But these are but moments fleeting and trifling
The lasting moments are these...

There was a moment in my life when I met you...
When you opened your heart
When you cut it in half
Just to make mine a whole

There was a moment in my Life
When in sorrow I slept
When the darkness was cold
And when your smile was my warmth

There was a moment in my life
When when we skipped till we leapt
When our souls somewhere met
And when in that somewhere held

There was a moment in my Life
When we laughed till we wept
When you wept where it hurt
And when I wept because it hurt you

Only God KNOWS HOW FAR WE HAVE COME
GOD KNOWS EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH
ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME

You’re the colours in my favourite sunrise
You’re the quiet in my sunset
You’re the scent in my flower
You’re the splash in my waterfall

You’re the sparkle in my eyes
You’re the heart in my smile
You’re the clink in my step
You’re the melody in my song
and the song in my soul

You’re the harmony in my orchestra
You’re the equals in my equation
You’re the gold at the end of my rainbow
You’re the love in this poem
And the tune in my life
Mon joie de vivre

More simply where would I be without you

You’re beautiful, you’re courageous
You’re a fighter you’re compassionate
You’re selfless
You’re effortlessly a phenomenal woman
But most importantly to me you’re my best friend,

when i read this out loud i literally cried like a baby. there exist no love as pure and as beautiful as that of a friend.. even the passion in the world's greatest love story withers and dies. but the best friend you find in that person will last until the only thing you both have left to offer is a good conversation between friends. 
As you get older you learn to trade in the butterflies in your tummy and the pounding in your heart for something more lasting... the ability to want to be nothing else but yourself around that person. to be comfortable to not pretend to be something you're not. 


friends with benefits =]  .. or just friend...


learn to have and appreciate the friends in your life as much as you appreciate other relationships. They are the ones you ALWAYS fall back on because their love is unchanging....neglecting is just..... EWWWWW


mes amis je t'aime !!!

BLAHNIKS baby..

I think if perfection was a shoe it would probably look something like this. *sigh*

look at it all majestic and all, screaming to be worn (but note: worn not worn out so please ladies let us take it easy even while we wear them in our dreams..) anyway just thought i would add to the dream that will one  day be your wedding day... 'n' if like me you have contemplated the nunnery, who says you cannot look good beneath your robes. after all this shoe should surely be worn purely for SELF..!!

Songs on my RADAR

DANCE DANCE DANCE! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ_gP_hFOss


BOP YOUR HEAD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gZWFjTU1f4


*SIGH* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVPbBM9nq_Y


SMIILLEEE..=] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtCpC8jE_Cs


SHEAD A TEAR http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VBex8zbDRs

True Thanksgiving

Tis’ the season ... FINALLY my favourite time of the year hath arrived. Yes it is a time to celebrate the birth of our beautiful baby Jesus, but one can’t deny, prezzies aren’t such a bad idea either. The feeeel, of the smooth, glossy wrapping paper sliding through your hands as you tare through it violently, uninterested and oblivious of the potential paper cuts and unable to contain the sheer excitement. For those of us who aren’t such big fans of inappropriate and ill thought out gifts or perhaps just the general concept of having to spend money on others, the smell of a feast  brewing somewhere, teasing and tantalizing your taste buds may be your most cherished moment. And if none of the above apply to you, well, maybe we can just settle on the fact that its FAMILY time. A time when one can find appreciation, somewhere in their hearts, for even the most annoying of siblings. 

Okay moving on to the subject at hand, I recently found myself having to think of how I was going to celebrate thanks giving.  I mean I am not of American origin and the British aren’t really known for sitting around a large turkey and being thankful, so I was at a bit of a loss on how to approach the whole thing. So I decided to do some research and see where this all came from. Well let me just say I wasn’t too impressed with what I found. I couldn’t really relate. Apparently, thanksgiving  has something to do with a celebration at Plymouth Plantation somewhere in Massachusetts in 1621 that happened early in the history of what would become one of the original Thirteen Colonies that later became the United States. Okaaaay.... I am a proud black, very African woman from a country that was once subjected to colonial rule, so when I see the  word COLONIES and PLANTATION..in one sentence.. My first reaction is HELLNAAWWW..! I just do not feel comfortable celebrating a holiday that originated as a result of colonisation. The native Americans have lost a lot including their right to own what was originally their own land. Today they live as strangers in what was once their home. Not cool.

So onto the next one.. I thought maybe since it is a celebration originating from our friends in the far west, I could keep it American. So I thought perhaps I could use it as a time to celebrate another epic time in their history, the abolition of that dreaded slave trade. I mean there isn’t actually a time in the year that I thank God that I was born in the 20th century and not in the 15th 16th, 17th or 18th. Thank Him that I wasn’t subjected to the absolutely appalling and grueling conditions in those slave ships (because quite frankly anyone who knows me knows I would not be amongst those that survived it) and that me or my ancestors were not treated in a way that was anything but humane. But then the more I thought about it the more something kept nagging at me. The slave trade is abolished, AGREED, but then what am I doing in a foreign country one that I don’t actually come from. As in, in my passport it is not actually marked ‘british citizen’ or anything so WHY am I here. Doesn’t it make more sense that I should be wherever God made sure I was born.?

I may be here for school now but then what are my intentions for after? Am I really planning to go back home to help rebuild what is left of the Zambian economy, or am I going to be just another statistic in a foreign land. One of the many ‘ethnic minorities’ classified under the ‘immigrant’ section. Is this really the big picture for me? I mean no matter how much I work, earn and achieve won't I always be those things first?

I got myself thinking and this was my train of thought. Perhaps us as  Africans are now slaves to another kind of master. Capitalism. Where as pre-colonialisation and all that, I would have otherwise been happily contended to live in my skins and sit around a camp fire and hear my tribe mates tell stories of brave men, now, I have unfortunately been brain washed to think that that is in fact a life of poverty. That to live by your means, modestly, and not let the means dictate my life is a form of suffering and I should therefore want more for myself. They come up with a figure of what I would be spending had I lived that life in comparison to them and call it things like APPAULLING, ATROCIOUS and ABOMINABLE  because it is so little. Today they may not be dangling a mirror in front of me BUT they sure are dangling a piece of paper with someone’s face on it and telling me its valuable. Suddenly, that part of my history lesson just doesn’t seem all that amusing. This time, at least, they have given me the option choosing my means of transport but still when I touch down I realise this is NOT what I signed up for. They promise me valuable things,... A high standard of living they call it but all I see when I get here is that everything I work for goes back to someone or something I don’t even see. They call it tax.. The more I make the more they take from me. It seems perhaps slave trade has lived on. Only this time, it is self inflicted.

I’m not saying anything. I am just sharing a train of thought...

So this thanksgiving I want to thank God for where I was born, who I am and where I am coming from. When He brought me into this world there was no coincidence, from the number of hairs on my head, to the colour of my skin, to the hospital my mother chose to give birth, I was predestined. I have a destiny. We all have a destiny, its bigger than you and me and our search for a piece of paper with a man we don’t know’s head on it. I pray that we don’t take it away from ourselves or give ourselves less than we deserve. Less of a culture, less of a heritage, less of a destiny. Instead of a destiny that shouts out we end up with one that whispers through the halls of history. One day I want to go back to the place I can call HOME and offer it something, even though it is more than it could offer me.. Why??... Cause that’s probably what God had in mind when He lined my stars up so it could happen that way.

 I pray I don’t corrupt my heritage or forget my culture in search of a nonexistent one.

Cloth skins and camp fires aren’t for everybody but that doesn’t mean we can’t respect those for whom it is.

Respect and cherish what God made you..

Commenting..

those of you having trouble commenting, have no fear for I am here, you just go to the bottom of the post click 'comment' then click on the drop down menu and pick how you want to comment on 'comment as', you can use your google or yahoo account or you can use 'anonymous' because it is easier and then sign your name at the end if you want. another alternative is to open an account with blogspot.

thank you and hope that helps

can't wait to hear what you have to say and to see all your amazing contributions that are VERY interesting. you just never know who needs to hear what you have to say or who has an answer to your question.

yours truly =]

IF...

If I had to pick one thing it would be your smile
If I didn’t ...
It would be EVERYTHING

If I had to ask, I would ask why me ?
If you had to answer...
Because I deserve you

If I I had one life, it would be you all throughout
If I had two...
It would be you in both

If I had to wait, I would wait an eternity
If I didn’t...
It’s me and you in RIGHT NOW

If I had but a moment it would be a kiss
If I had a few more...
I  would LINGER in your hug

If I had to choose I would choose you
If I had 3 choices..
It would be you in all 3

If I could sing, I would sing you a lullaby
If I couldn’t...
I would become your SYMPHONY

If I had one word it would be the word ‘you’ 

If I could have a few more... 

It would always be a ‘I love you’ and ‘thank you’ 

Reining Jam..

CLICK and warm your heart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSkRBCPRf8Q

The Art Of Bowing Ones Head In Shame..

In the Zambian tradition, as in most other African countries, a huge part of our culture is founded on one basic principle ‘RESPECT your elders’. Hence, a huge chunk of our customs are primarily based on how best to show that respect. For example, in the classic parent to child scolding scenario or in terms of employment hierarchy, the BOSS versus the mere employees show down, it is expected that in show of ones utter mortification of their bad behavior and humility towards discipline one must not engage in eye contact, instead, it is best to HANG your head in shame unless the other party calls for a direct, but, BRIEF form of eye contact.
 The constant act of looking up in acknowledgement and then bowing the head in shame is in itself an art. However, the real art form lies in ones ability to respond in agreement at the APPROPRIATE  time. Too many verbal acknowledgments in too short intervals can easily be perceived as a lack of humility and instead, be interpreted as an eagerness to get the lecture OVER and DONE with and a general disinterest to the pearls of wisdom being involuntarily bestowed on you (not that this is too far from the truth, but one can NOT under any circumstances dare let this be known) . On the other hand, too FEW responses can easily relay the message that you have NOT understood the lecture or EVEN WORSE, that you do not agree or wish to agree and acknowledge your wrong doing. Now both of these are sure to guarantee an even longer lecture than may at first have been necessary or an even greater punishment. Now who wants that...

Note exhibit A:

‘Chisanga life is too short you can’t go around not taking school seriously’, mum never thinks that there is ever a disciplinary speech that is too long. In her defence she would always end each lecture with something along the lines of ‘I know you think mummy talks too much but if I don’t tell you these things then who else will’. So this was one of those ‘education is life’ speech after showing my general disinterest in all things education during my summer break. I mean there is a time and place for Shakespeare and unsolvable Chemistry equations and my summer holiday just isn’t it.
‘I mean these are the things you generally come to regret later in life’ she goes on.
‘yes mummy’
‘you don’t want to end up like your cousin John you don’t need me to tell you ...’ the beauty of having a rather dysfunctional family. The show and tell section of the lecture can go on and on..and on...ENDLESSLY!!!
‘No mummy’
‘You see you have been given an opportunity so make the most of it while you’re still young’
‘Of course!’
‘CHISANGA are you really listening? Just giving me one word answers. You know if you don’t take OLDER PEOPLE with experience seriously you will end up...’ yes the lecture BRANCHES OFF into a whole new domain of correction .. My attitude towards discipline.!! Another half an hour AT LEAST...

Time for a different strategy

The next time around I let her speak for at least 2 minutes before I give my response allowing for at least 3 coherent sentences to be unleashed, giving the perception of one who is taking EVERYTHING in before agreement.
And ALLAS the desired effect. The sound of each word of what I have come to call my ‘the closing line’...
‘anyway I have said what I need to say...’

In my prayer life I have adopted much the same concept and attitude. Its imperative to know when to speak and when to keep quiet. I don’t always need to bombard God with my never ending list of demands sometimes I just have to shut up and listen to what He has to say.. You know..  Like an actual ANSWER to my prayers. No one needs a message to be relayed in 5 years when it should have taken 5 minutes...

One set of Israelites in history is quite enough thank you..

Lemonade.

Quote 1

Talent is our GIFT from God.. What we do with it is our gift to Him

Retail Therapy of the week

 Yes who the HELL needs cinderella when you have a dress like this.. With this dress I'm making my own fairy tail.. and guess what...?? I get to choose my prince charming,  prince charming don't choose me.. DEUCES!!

                                   

Oh and just one more thing, you know BTW, who needs a glass slipper when you got Jimmy Choo.. If every1 had these as their heels of FAITH there would for sure be plenty to go round..

 *Sighh*..OH purse, purse WHERE art thou.. ??..need I say more...

                                                                                                           Something to aspire to... if i gotta work my butt off at school day in and day out please, SOMEONE, just dangle this in front of me and I'll be fine, I PROMISE, or then again Diego Dolcini ..MARRY ME..!!!

Representing Africa.... Now this is the kind of blazer i wanna throw on... Western fashion prepare to be amazed. You haven't seen nothing yet...

Don't worry people bank account not up to par.. Gossip Girl rich and famous not your reality, calme-toi, there is still hope. There are still those that cater to the masses..

Click DRESS £29.99 H&M 

YOU SEE... God Still loves you...

Fear

FEAR

To everyone who knows me, you know that you inspire me, and when I write, I write with love, knowing you always have my back. Je t’aime profondment, simplement et toute entire.

For such an ageless emotion, 1 word, 1 syllable and 4 characters, it is amazing that an art hasnt been developed to ward off its devastating effects….

Maybe what they should have told us was this:

Fear never composed a symphony or wrote a poem
Fear never walked out of an abusive relationship or
Raised an extraordinary person as a single parent
Fear cried herself to sleep

Fear never stayed long enough to forgive a cheating partner or
Fix a broken marriage
Fear never loved where it hurt or held the hand of a loved one battling an illness
Fear simply walked away

Fear never parted the red sea or built a boat during a drought
Fear never ended an apartheid.
It never abolished a slave trade or won a freedom
Fear crawled up into a hole and died

Fear never married a prostitute that produced the lineage of Jesus
Fear never won anyone’s love or got down on one knee
Fear taunted you with loneliness and told you to settle

Fear never broke a record, won a championship or made history
Fear never got down on two knees and prayed

Courage did that…

in the courage halls of fame
harriet tubman, nelson mandela, Jesus son of God, Moses, Joan of Arc,Martin L King, Sojurner Truth...and the list goes on and on..

INSTEAD

Fear stacked up enough nuclear weapons to destroy a planet over ten times over
Fear raised armies and raged wars
Fear raped babies for a cure to a disease
Fear turned a blind eye to a genocide that killed thousands
Fear inspired racism and encouraged a suicide bomber
Fear saved up a couple of hundred thousand that he was never even buried with

You remember this:

When the final whistle blew and you wished you had played it a little bit bolder and not safer
When you sit in the crowd of a wedding that should have been
Yours because that was your person and YOU were the better bride/groom
When life’s final moment calls and you’re counting regrets and not loving faces
You remember that fear left you where courage would have stayed

Fear tells you you’re not good enough
Fear tells you its too late
Fear tells you he/she is out of your league
Fear tells there is no God let alone one that will always forgive
And you can never disappoint

But ask yourself, how can something that has been timelessly wrong about so many things, suddenly be right about you??
You are right where you’d be had u tried and failed

in the fear halls of fame Hitler, Judas, Joseph Bruce Ismay..and the list doesn't really go on and on because history doesn't really record fear....

You tell fear…

You are beautiful…. wonderfully and fearfully beautiful…

You’ll be fine

XxX

Quote

"Every time you suppress some part of yourself or allow others to play you small, you are ignoring the owner’s manual your creator gave you." - Oprah

All Weather Kinda Girl..

Growing up I was one of those kids that simply COULD NOT stand the weather. I had something negative to say about every single season. When I was in winter I would complain, mourn and go on and on about how I just couldn’t wait for summer to get here. Well it should come as no surprise then when I tell you that as soon as summer came it wouldn’t take me long to complain about how the blazing heat was ruining my complection and melting my pleather (though now that I think about it I don’t even know what the hell I was doing wearing pleather in the SUMMER). Yes month after month, year after year that was me, making sure I was not being 'little miss sunshine', to the chagrin of my mother and those around me. Well it wasn’t untill I got a little bit older that I had my very first notable epiphany. It was INGENIOUS. I decided that I would, in fact, begin to change my clothes to suit the weather. So you must be wondering what is so ingenious about this. it is after all a basic concept that ones clothes must change according to the weather, atleast it should be or why else are billions of dollars spent each year, each season, on advertisements for next seasons latest attire. Well then allow me to ellaborate. I remember during winter I would gear up with my thick cotton trousers, my warm woollen vests, a long sleeved shirt on topp of that,and another on top of that. And then I'd hawl on my great big bomber jacket and warm woollen scalf. I’d even throw on a wool headsock just for good measure. When I was well satisfied and contented that I was all warm and ready to go, I would finally go to my shoes closet and woop out my favourite pink.....Wait for it..... Wait for it..... PUMPs.. Yes, in the middle of a blizzard, hale storm, WATEVA, my favourite inappropriate footwear was sure to follow.


 In my old secondary school we used to say ‘fashion beats the weather’, our little slogan for all the times we wore inappropriate clothing that left us with partial frostbite, all in the name of 'looking good'. I mean no one needs a clashing sweater to ruin a perfectly good outfit. Yes this carried on all throughout the year. Like I said, whether it was wearing pleather or leather boots during the summer as a revolutionary fashion trend or a plunge line blouse during the winter to show off my latest accessory, my disregard for the seasonal-dressing code of conduct was making my life that much more uncomfortable and my seasons that much more miserable.


 Life is a lot like that. Unless you decide to adapt your attitude, character and so on according to the season your life is in at a given time, it will just be but one miserable, uncomfortable season after another. If you don't learn to cry when it hurts and Laugh when it is funny or Pray when you're in trouble and praise when you're not you will be in for some serious discomfort. Soon you’re hating the climate that is your life.. Endlessly wishing you resided in a different climate despite the fact that it is here to stay. I mean God only gave you ONE climate, ONE life to do with it what you wish. To adapt to the seasons and dress accordingly. To slip into your slippers of FAITH or boots of STRENGTH, your scarf of COURAGE or hat of HOPE when it so calls, and YES even if you have to leave your favourite accessory behind. WHY?? Because, the the circumstance and season at hand calls for change. so CHANGE.Wondering and pondering what it would be like if the sun was out, or if it wasn't hailing really doesn't help your cause because guess what.. its NOT. Take a hint look at he goose bumps on your arm, the worry lines on your forehead, the frown on your lips and make a positive change. The storm may be bad, but guess what? you're READY and geared to conquer.


So now, for me,when winter approaches I simply pack up my gorgeous summer pumps whip out my winter wellies so I can go and enjoy playing in the snow.. All the while anxiously awaiting the next time my pumps can make an appearance.

So what am I saying??
We all go through trials in our lives. We all have all time HIGHS and all time LOWS. We have life really beat down on us, knock us out and then laugh at us when we fail to get up. Sometimes we lose loved ones and other times have terrible things happen to us. Unmentionable things in our winter. But we cant allow the winter to dictate our enjoyment of the summer. No matter what it feels like now moments of true HAPPINESS will also come your way. Times that will call for celebration and joy. Be it something as huge as a wedding or  be it something as small as the exchange of a genuine smile, there are always moments. But if we are too busy thinking and dwelling on what happened in the winter, thinking of the really tough time we had we miss those moments. And before we know it everyday for the rest of our time on this earth, Our life will feels like winter. COLD. You’ll feel it, your loved ones will know youre feeling it, and before you know it everyone you care about will know you're feeling it.  And Lets face it, no one wants to be confronted by the chills of a cold winter breeze each time they come around you. Frostbite just isn’t a good look. So before you know it you find you’re left with no one, with no one but you to blame.


I mean have you ever seen that one relative at the family gathering who seems to just be miserable ALL THE TIME and has something negative to say about ANYTHING. Like you ask them 'would you like something to drink?' And they go on and on about how once 5 years ago they couldn’t even afford bottled water so they had to drink from the tap and then the tap water was dirty so it gave them some stomach problems and that they had to go to the hospital which in turn meant hospital bills, that they also couldn’t pay for.. And the list goes on and on.INCEASANTLY. I mean, who wants to be around that person. You just bring the water and quickly excuse yourself politely, all the while eyeing  and gesturing at someone else across the room in true mockery fashion.

So what does one do then.. What is the magic formula??.. Its simple

Be an all weather girl
'There is a time for everything.. A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up.⁴ A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance. (Ecclessiaates 3:1-15)  .....So see each season of your life through with the appropriate attitude.

Some of us are still wearing last seasons autum coat in this seasons winter. 
Hell NO!
Its time to adapt girl.. lemonade from lemons!

Moment Captured

'Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof. Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking.' - Khalil Gibran


My first making Lemonade from life 'moment captured'. This is the most courageous woman i know. Well over 80 she has suffered everything from a broken hip to a stroke. She has had to face the lemons life has dealt her, from the minute she tries to get out of bed in the morning and realises she cant do it on her own, to the second she tries to use her right hand to eat and find it just won't do what she wants it to... In spite of the blatant reminders of all she can't do she more than makes up for it in the little that she can. How? She can still smile. She can still laugh. She can be with those that she loves and find a blessing in the fact that her family is still there.. for that single moment she can put away the big, fat juicy lemon life has dealt her and SMILE to make lemonade...

Welcoming Me

okay so this is my place this is my space. this is where i get to be me and you get to be you. if you don't like it guess what..you get to leave. so enjoy it enjoy me and learn to love life. learn to make some lemonade from the lemons life dishes out at you. you can be ANYTHING you want to be and when you want to be it. yes ANYTHING.