Saturday 15 January 2011

The Journey...





Once upon a time i had a friend ask me what i thought about a guy asking her to wait for him..not can we date long distance but can you literally wait for me so we can date one day when it becomes possible...My first instinct, with all my movie-watching experience, was to go "awwww... how romantic"..You know, like 'Pearl Harbour' except WITHOUT Ben Affleck returning home and finding his girl has moved on with his BFF..(Ouch mehhn)...But then the more i subjected it to reason the less i felt like i was watching a movie.. Yes reality and logic began to creep in on me and i finally began asking questions (to myself of course...after all i have come to realise that self is a good conversationalist)... 
So what makes people think that they can exercise so much control over someone else’s life.?? Actually to put it bluntly, what makes us so SELFISH that we ask something of someone that we ourselves have so little control  over ourselves. I mean take our mr man up there, what if where he went he fell for someone else, totally unexpected and  unintentional, what would happen to my friend? how do you tell someone you have asked to wait that you have fallen for someone else..i mean what if Rapunzel or Sleeping Beauty were kept waiting only to find some other chick was heir to the throne. Not such a happy ending anymore now is it? More like a TRAGEDY actually. And lets just say if those ladies had a friend that was anything like me those princes would be HUNTED down and made to do more than kiss a toad... they would have EATEN one. 
Well some would say we do it for love...but the more i think about it the less i'm convinced...that, to me, is not love but in fact selfishness at its best. Love is just the thing we want it to be but in actual fact it is not. Love is kind, love is patient, love is not boastful, love is enduring, love is a great many things BUT that.


I once read 'The Alchemist' (brilliant book) by Paulo Cohelo and ever since then I have been thoroughly convinced that despite common belief Love is NOT a destination. At most, it is a pit stop. But unfortunately for most of us if we're asked what percentage of our thoughts is dedicated to a romantic relationship of some sort we would be utterly ashamed to admit a figure we would not be caught dead saying out loud. Even worse, if asked what our most pressing present life's goal is the image that would come to mind would probably resemble something along the lines of a picture perfect image of someone in a tux and  another in an amazing white dress looking like a princess. Why?? who knows..


But If life is a journey and we're the drivers then God is SURELY our GPRS (Tom Tom), He is the one that gives us the directions to our destination that is our destiny. Usually unless you are some kind of prophet He gives them to us a little at a time. He doesn’t show us too much so as to get us overwhelmed ... Just a little at a time..Of course, as we go on our way on this journey that is life, we make some fuel stops, some toilet breaks, we even venture to pick people up and give them a lift. Companions, perhaps, to keep us awake when nights become cold and the silence in our solitude becomes noise. Companions to keep us entertained,amused and prevent us from sleeping for some of the way or until the destination depending on their own journey. So imagine, allowing that companion of yours to start pointing out the route and directions you should take. To start drawing up a new route all the while ignoring the one Tom Tom has mapped out for you. 'Shortcuts' to your destination, they say. I mean this companion is literally giving you directions to a destination you don’t even know yourself but all the games and merry songs you have been singing together have left you feeling all mooshy inside and feeling as though you can trust them enough to get you where you need to be. Well, that is just simply ABSURD isn't it. Imagine how many big red ‘wrong way’ messages Tom Tom will have to give you ...relentlessly telling you to go back onto the path you were on. Frantically and faithfully drawing up a new route to get you to where you should be. The route that was the best and shortest way to get to your perfect destination. The one that best suited your needs. 


Of course, by now you have ignored enough messages, as loyalty to your new found companion, to realise that you are well and truly lost. That you are completely off course and before you know it your life is headed in a completely different direction to the one that was originally destined for you. You have come the wrong way and you don't even know how to begin going back because quite simply it feels like you have come way too far out to be turning back. Soon, you are frustrated with yourself AND with your passenger who, given the present state of affairs, ceased to be a companion LONGGG AGO. Instead of the laughter, all that is left is a cold detachment and instead of the joyous singalong, the closest you get to amusement is the blame game. I mean, before, in the happy, mooshy 'everything is perfect' moment it was easy to forget about the destination, it was easy to make this person become a destination because of how great they made you feel. it was easy to make the sacrifice until it stopped being enough and you started wanting more for SELF. Something of your own, the true destination you were created for that only tom tom had directions to. By now you are tired and weary and all you want to do is open the door just a little bit and give the passenger a tiny nudge to the side.
 Worn out from the search and although you have no tolerance for this passenger of yours you feel you have no choice but to be contented with them being the destination. Your reliance on them has betrayed you, so you just keep going, empty and weary, you just keep going...NOWHERE!! But God hasn’t given up on the journey even though you have. Tom Tom is still giving you the message he always has 'wrong way' !! He is just waiting for you to actually ACT on it. Of course, now if you turn back it is going to take you longer than it should have to get to where you are supposed to be but He NEVER gives up on you. NEVER. It doesn't matter how far off course  you have gone He just simply will NOT give up. 


Well that in a nutshell is unfortunately the pattern of many of our lives including mine. We allow the ‘passengers' of our lives to take over our journey. To tell us where to go when it isn’t in their place to do so. They don’t know us the way our Father does. They didn’t create us with a purpose so basically all their ‘advice ' and requests, even though well intended, are not going to get us anywhere. Trust that tom tom will get you there.Trust that God will get you there even when the road is bumpy and when you are itching to take a shortcut. All the best things are worth waiting for so learn to be PATIENT. And all the best things in your life are already lined up to happen so stop forcing things and have a little FAITH.
 Allow a passengers into your life to SHARE in the moments, to INDULGE in the sightseeing with you, to provide SECOND opinion not the ONLY opinion. To just be there for you and love you enough to keep you on the path God has laid out for you instead of just trying to become the driver in your life. As for 'self' tell him/her to  stop being so ...SELFISH...no need to make someone give up what we ourselves would not want to give up. i try to tell mine eerrrddaayyy.


We were born as individuals so we have individual needs, individual goals. There is nothing or nowhere that says those goals should take a sideline or that we have to pick between them and our relationships in life and make a sacrifice. With a little patience and faith we can have BOTH.. So shame on whoever said we can't. I don't know about you but MY God never died on a cross to give me anything short of a fulfilled life.

10 comments:

  1. I LOOOOOOVE YOUUUU

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  2. this reminds me of a friend of mine who has been told by 15 boys to wait for them...as if she's gonna marry all of them at once....thanks for being too real and telling it as it is.....we definately need to focus on tom tom's directions more....xxx

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  3. hahaha i guess that is a lucky friend.. 15 whole times, she must be quite something huh..

    i'm sure i love you too anonymous 1.

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  4. Somehow its always what I need to hear.

    Thanks

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  5. AMAZING... haven't read so many words in such a long time while dnt being able to stop. God (TOM TOM) definitely directs your writing itz so rich... i'm a new follower n i LOVE!!!!!

    WISDOM FROM ABOVE xxx

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. I agree with you my dear but only to a certain extent. God is our navigation system. The only thing is he only tell you where you currently are and where you want to get to. He shows you which route to take and where to turn.
    For example, when you put in your address on a gps, it tells you where you are and where you want to go. It will not tell you if there are pot holes along the way, it will not tell you that there are people crossing the road, it will not tell you that a vehicle has blown up on the road and its closed, etc!!
    What am trying to say is that, on our journey we will have many obstacles, things that will slow us down, or make us want to give up. But God says "keep going!" Nothing comes easy!you need to go through those things to get to what you are looking for.. In the end the question is how bad do you want it?and its up to you! just coz you find a huge pothole in the middle of the road does not mean that you should give up and stop moving.
    For example, you ask God for a good man.. He will answer you immediately!but you cant just sit on your ass, you gotta work towards it, you cant just have faith on its own, you need to push as well. Or just coz you find a guy and he breaks your heart, you give up on love!no! maybe God said i want you to go through 6 guys before you get to the man I have for you! and you dont go through these things for nothing, i mean experience is the best teacher!you learn from them! You know what I mean?

    So this whole wait for me wait for me, can be positive as well. Maybe you have reached your destination but need to go through a but more to prove thats the man for you! You cant give up all because your man is going far away and has asked you to wait for him. I dont think thats being selfish unless the person is doing it on purpose and leading you on.
    Nevertheless! If the guy wants to leave you without basing any relationship with you, then MOVE!!!do not waste time waiting for someone who is not sure about you!someone who is not sure about his feelings!Thats wasting time! you will be busy waiting for nothing when God is waiting for you to move and get to where you are supposed to be! You dont stop at the traffic lights even when they are not working!you take a risk by crossing the lights coz you dont know if another car is coming the other way, but you gotta keep moving!!

    Unfortunately, I have had both experiences.

    But do not wait around for nothing, knowing you have an 80/20 percentage, do the right thing. Do not always follow your heart, use your head sometimes! Just coz you love him your gonna let him take advantage of you? No ways!

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  8. @khoti.. i can see where you are coming from and totally respect your opinion.. you're right sometimes God gives us destinations and tells us to work for them. like you said portals and the like are inevitable parts of life. we have to keep moving and fight for what we want.Like you also rightly said we cannot expect things to fall in our laps. like you i'm a fighter.. if i see something and i want it i'll go after it and not even hell can stop me. However, what we should always make sure is that we are fighting for something that is worthwhile. you can't say oh this person keeps messing up but i'm sure if i stick around i can make him or her change, he will change for me.. nada. when you fight you fight for something totally worth it. and fighting comes in all shapes forms and sizes. fighting for a relationship can simply be being patient and waiting as long as what you are waiting for is something certain. what i am writing against is people making other people wait when there is no definite relationship. also when people make finding that man their life's purpose. we're allowed to have more than one dream in life but people still insist on acting like their life is about to end when they don't have a man or a chick or whatever. our destination isn't a person. people leave this earth at different times God cannot make a person your destination. that is what i was getting at. but you are so right about the fighting i don't want anyone to think that God's plan is always gonna be smooth sailing.

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  9. "God cannot make a person your destination" I think you are misunderstanding me.
    If thats what you want, he will make it available to you. That will be a journey you will have to take, a journey to finding your perfect guy or whatever, you will go through shit, but you will get to where you want to get to if you keep on moving! If you pray to God he will know what you want and he will help you. He will know where you are now and where you want to get to. He will have that one person for each of us so long you ask for it and you work towards it. You might have to go through many of them, but at the end of the day God will have that specific one for you, its up to you to find out which one it is. Whether it takes years, he will give you what you ask for.

    On the other hand, yes, you need to fight for something that is worth it. I agree with you. BUT how do you know its worth it? Like i mentioned before most people think with their hearts and not their minds which messes up everything. So it not about thinking on what is worth it, its about going through them and if they dont work out, you learn from them. Thats life, experience is the perfect way to learn. We need to make mistakes just to learn who we are.

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  10. Please open this link, its of a poem I think you would like :D
    http://www.districtdiva.com/2011/03/i-will-wait-for-you-the-answer-to-the-sweet-nothings-of-steve-harveyism/

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