To Our Dearest 2010...And For Our 2011

If you spent your holiday in any way like I did you are most likely going through what I call a transition period. Christmas probably left you hating the scale or avoiding it all together in fear  that all it will display on that tiny little screen is the simple phrase... ‘get off and get running’...

Yes, watching T.V doesn’t help either..You know... with all those special K and Activea adverts REMINDING you of what you should “apparently” look like and all.. Yeah right!! pleeeassse did you SEE the deserts I ate.. Or better yet I was that size at 13 so do the maths GOSH!!!...give us a break people.!! Oh and then there was New Year... well lets just say bad choice of beverages because when the music stopped playing and instead the head started spinning, essays became impossible to finish. So now all that’s is left is you trying to find a way to face whatever reality you are soon to face when the Christmas decorations come down. The hoorrooorrrr...The festive celebrations were incredible, memorable even but there was one thing lacking in both for me. I just realised that I didn’t get to make a toast at all.. Yes I love to talk (as much as it pains me admit) so I feel somehow cheated. So here it goes my toast to 2010..late but well needed..

To 2010

Where do I start.. How do I begin..
Gosh it has been a long year.
I just want to say thank you 2010
Thank you for the new friends,
The old, the loyal.. The ones that I now know I can always count on
Thank you for The experiences..
The opportunities to learn,
How to be loved
And love anew,
Thank you for the breaths, the life, the opportunity to live
I’m thankful 2010 for the memories,
of smiles and kisses
And tears-rolling-down-my-face laughter
Thank you for the pleasures of family;
The meaning of unconditional,
 the support,
the hugs that counted and those that I forgot to count

Most of all thank you
Thank you 2010 for the never-ending struggles,
The unbearable pain; the cry-me-a-river tears
The stains to my pillow
Thank you so much
For the unendurable agony; the type that broke me
The health that abandoned, the heart that failed
Thank you for the fear that crippled,
For the slaps to the face, the bruises to the ego
The breaks to the heart
Thank you for the grief, the taking of loved ones
The feeling of utter uselessness;
the definition of hopeless
Thank you for the disappointment, the frustration
The scolding anger
Thank you most of all for this list of negatives that outweigh the good
For the feeling of nothingness, the shame of defeat
The taste of hopeless
Really..
THANK YOU

Because now.. (listen carefully because this is the important part..)
Because now I can toast to a 2011
Others didn’t make it
Because now in spite of a long list of pain I can boast of survival
Of strength
Others didn’t fight it

I can laugh about odds because I defied them,
You can talk about a statistic but I overcame it
They can tell me of failure but I’m not it

Yes
I can toast to a BETTER 2011
walk with a clink in my step
Why??
Because..
When you’ve hit rock bottom there is nowhere else to go but up
2011 has a lot in store for me and I have a lot in store for it
I’m positive, optimistic even cause those are the people that make things happen
The wonderful things that will happen will happen because I allowed myself to grow
To change when I and they thought I couldn’t

So here I am
toasting dearest 2010
To goodbye
To you as a past
And to 2011 as a future
Just toasting..
NOW
To faith
Because I once lost it
To faith
To living 
because living without it isn’t living at all
AND
To hope when I shouldn’t have it
To hope ...
Because you can’t take that
To hope..
Because you took everything else
To hope..
BECAUSE ITS ALL I HAVE LEFT


Thank you 2010 and hello 2011